Head full of questions, how can you measure up?
To deserve affection, to ever be enough
For this existence
When did it get so hard?
Your heart is beating, alive and breathing
And there's a reason why
You are essential, not accidental
And you should realize
You are beloved
Jordan Feliz - Beloved
Every morning when I rise, my mind swarms with questions and uncertainty floods my soul. Instantly, doubt creeps into my every thought, poisoning my mind;
Will I be able to endure all of the trials that are placed before me? Will my body fail me? Will I have the energy to do my work?
When my heart is heavy with crushing doubt, I run to the Lord and pray for all of the people I love and care for. One of these that I pray for is my current secretary, Rachel Schwartz, who has become a dear friend of mine. Back in April, she informed me that she will be moving.
Rachel came to be my secretary in a time of need. At first, I was skeptical, wondering if she would have the strength to fulfill this position. This job requires a unique person to acclimate to the special needs I have in order for me to accomplish my daily tasks. This individual must be patient, confident, and skillful in sign language, lip reading, interpreting, and many others. During the past seven months of working with her, I have learned more than I could have ever expected. Not only is Rachel capable of the job, but she has far exceeded my expectations.
She has expanded my world-view in a way I would have never thought of before. We have shared our testimonies, trials, and our love for Jesus Christ. Before Rachel came along, I was desperate mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for a confidante that would draw me closer to Christ.
Rachel shared those song lyrics (seen above) with me on a day when I needed it the most and once more I was reminded of God’s love and grace. Throughout our journey together, I have learned that regardless of the pain and suffering I have endured, God will still provide for my needs.
you have made a real impact on my life that will last a lifetime. You have helped me understand how God doesn’t view me as accidental, but that he sees me as someone who is essential for His Kingdom and calls me His beloved. When life is at its hardest, you are always there to listen and help me through any trial that comes my way. My dear friend, words cannot describe how much I appreciate you and how thankful I am to have you in my life. I will always treasure this time that we’ve spent together. Continue to shine forth His light and share His love with whoever crosses your path.
Your sister in Christ,
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17 ESV.)