Imagine yourself standing in a mine field with the mines blowing up all around you. That is how I felt this month: overwhelmed, unsure, disparaged, and desperate for stable ground.
This month has been the craziest month of the year. So many things have happened: school starting, summer ending, book editing, interviewing, article writing, artwork… It was like a bomb went off in my planner every day. I would start with a plan and suddenly everything would explode, forcing me to constantly reorganize my priorities as things popped up out of nowhere. I was getting frustrated trying to get everything together for my first year of college. Plans kept changing at the last minute. Struggling with not being able to control my circumstances, I was starting to doubt God’s sovereignty because I could not see how anything could possibly work out for my idea of the best. My faith was going astray as I was failing to trust God’s best plan for my life. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” (NASB) No matter how hard I tried to plan and organize, my best laid plans were turned upside-down by God’s plans.
Every day God tests me by allowing my plans to be changed; I wake up feeling sick or with a sense of dread, my helpers can’t come, something is always changing. Because of this, I am used to having to be flexible, but this month has been an even bigger test in this area. My lack of faith brought me a lot of trouble. I have had to learn to cling tightly to the solid rock and trust him to keep me safe from the exploding and sinking sand all around me.
How can I continue to trust God not only when things seem to go well but also when they seem to explode everywhere? To be honest I am still not sure how to fully answer that question. Christ does promise that He will continue to give me the grace for every challenge I face. The Psalms are my comfort. When I think of the promises of those songs it brightens my stormy soul. As I walk through the minefields of life my faith should be diminished; instead my faith is only strengthened as I learn to trust in Christ’s best plan and His sovereign hand over my life.